|Picture taken by ME at Linn Run, Ligonier, PA.|
I seem to have lost my path. Or followed what looked like a path into the woods, and it wasn't a path just simply a misleading angle of light and vegetation growth. I don't know. I'm lost. I have been feeling I don't know anything about just about everything. (This has to be not true, or I wouldn't have a day job, but it's a feeling that's surfaced.)
I think my trouble arises from lack of mental stimulation. I miss conversations that challenge me to think, expand outside of norm. I had this friend in...middle school? (I think) who spent hours on the phone with me talking over anything and nothing. Once such conversation was the Earth being round. And what if it was square, and on we went to different aspects of all sorts of things involved. I'm sure many of you have done this when you were younger, and still do. This friend has moved away and every so often we find each other (usually Facebook now).
As I've grown older, *cough* I'm not that old, but as I've aged things have taken over that time I use to spend doing this with others. I'm happy to have my family and work, but miss the little things. It was always fun to share these thoughts with others, and discuss them. I learned from these chats - about me and about the true facts. Now-a-days, I feel cooped up and no one to explore with.
While I'm on this path, I think it's part of the reason that I'm not "playing nice" with others. My brain's not sparking. Even to think about real things beyond my regime of work and life. To learn about strange new things. Everyone around me has become caught up in the mundane runs of life. Yes, I know. It's needed. I've been rather wrapped up in it as well. Life has been crazy and very, very real this year. I need the release. So, I'm ripping that wrapping off. I want to live beyond the normal every day stuff. I want more. The magic that is buried underneath everything.
When I beta read with a few authors, I feel this surface again. They don't always take my thoughts of my specific ramblings into their work, but it's fun. This is what I love doing. Speculating about anything and everything. I want to do this more. Not necessarily by beta reading other authors items, but just talking out nothing and everything. I think this will help with my creativity and make me feel that I do know about something, even if it is the same thing I talk about. ;P
No, really. When I interact with others and talk about subjects I feel I might know about something. If I don't know about it, I still talk but learn while discussing. If I am learning, I *might* have a different view about it too.
Now...to find someone to talk about nothing with...
With all this in mind, I'm going to try a few new things around the web. I the opportunity to do some podcast discussions and some discussion posts on here and Challenged Writers. We'll see what comes as the New Year passes and time calms a bit.